If you are a friend, a legitimate business acquaintance, or my mom:
pigpickle@gmail.com
347)524-3530

If you are a charity, a "friend" who likes to put me on lists, or a website that I bought something on and is now selling all of my personal info to the highest bidder:
wolf_vii@yahoo.com

If you are a creepy, toothless, spammer living in rural asia learning grammar & spelling from your 11yr old "house boy":
luckbedamned@excite.com